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Two years later the man comes back and goes to the same casino. This time he wins money. As he exits the casino, he sees a long line of Taxi drivers.. and at the end is his enemy from two years ago.
Seeing this, the man decides to get his revenge. He goes up to the first Taxi and says: “hey will you give me a blowjob?” the taxi driver says: “no you freak, get out of my car!”
The man then goes on to the next car and says: “hey will you give me a blowjob?” the taxi driver says: “no you maniac, get out of my car!” The man continues to do this all down the line until he reaches the last taxi, and sees his enemy.
The man asks: “how much for a ride to the airport?” Not recognizing him the driver replies: “$5″ “Okay.” says the man and he gets in. Then as he passes the line of other taxis, he sticks his hands out the window and gives them all a big thumbs up.
A police officer pulls over this guy who’s been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.
“The man says, “Sorry, officer, I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”
“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”
“I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”
“Well, then, we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry, officer, I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I’ll get really low blood sugar.”
“All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”
“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Because I’m drunk.”
Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer.
Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, ‘I think I will divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months.’
Charles continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says,
‘You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.’
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God replies, “What??? You’ve
got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.” Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.” Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”
“Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, “Would you swap me for a season ticket?”
“Absolutely not,” he said.
“How sweet,” Sarah said. “Tell me why not.”
“Season’s more than half over,” he said.
Just follow the Tracks
Several Hours later, he comes back with a deer over his shoulder. The other two are amazed and ask him how he got a deer with no weopans. He replies, ” I findtracks, i follow tracks, i get deer”. They both are slightly confused but let it go.
oneweek later, they have eaten the deer, so they need to get more food. The second guy leaves and says that he is going to get food. He comes back a couple hours later with a elk over his shoulder. The other two ask how he got the elk. He simply replies, “I find tracks, i follow tracks, i get Elk”.
presidents candle dinner
Welcome into Season 9 Episode ONE BILLION – actually episode 10. In this episode you will find some of the funniest, weirdest pranks of all time! Are you sick of the Olympics? Of course you’re not. But if you’re like me and feel bitter at all these athletes with their six packs and hard muscles, have a look some of our pranks – soft people galore.
A presentation of JustForLaughsTV, the official Just For Laughs Gags YouTube channel. Home of the funniest, greatest, most amazing, most hilarious, win filled, comedy galore, hidden camera pranks in the world!
Our motto is “Divide and Conquer” or rather… “Divide and Prank!” In these fun pranks, we recruit victims’ loved-ones to fool them! For people who ever dreamed of working for the Gags, this is one way to live the thrill of the prank.
Some of our favorites are:
Victim Steals Police Car Prank
Hidden Camera – Girlfriend Swap
Join The Army Funniest Prank
Wife VS Husband: Charity Gifts Prank
Sexy Cop Steals Girlfriend!